Two Things on the mind of a parent behind the power curve....

I have two things on my mind, in great conflict:

1. Easter apparently now bestows a "right" to eggs and hunts and such. I blame Hollywood and the new movie Hop. Think I'll stop right there with that one.

2. Aubrey is forever on my mind and though I spent hours this morning searching through blog posts of people trekking the Langtang last April and May, I am no closer to anything. I walk into her father's and mother's office everyday, but am not a confidante to warrant having strong feelings about what has happened to Aubrey in Nepal. Ashley gets that right, yet we all feel it and pretend like we don't everyday. An article in the local newspaper ran today about the one-year anniversary since anyone heard from her. I think her father has great wisdom about life. In pieces and parts, the article goes like this:

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New leads for Aubrey take one to three months to investigate. There is no search and rescue organization like the one in Larimer County in Nepal. But it’s not just Nepal. Our own country hasn’t helped as much as the Saccos would like, they said. They understand Clinton is busy and America has many other problems to tackle, and they even say Aubrey was traveling alone and therefore did assume some risk. But they also say America has more resources in law enforcement and tracking than practically any other country in the world.

“A government as strong as ours,” Paul said. “Even though I shouldn’t expect them to come to our rescue, why the hell wouldn’t they? The biggest epiphany in all this is you have always thought that when something happens, you call the police and they are supposed to take care of it. That could not be further from the truth.”

That doesn’t mean some aren’t trying, they said. Some FBI agents are working on Aubrey’s case at night, on their own time. Many, Paul said, are fathers with daughters.

“That’s been our best surprise,” Paul said.

Angels, Paul calls them, his eyes shining.

“I don’t think people realize how much they keep us going,” Paul said.

They NEED those things, almost desperately, all the time, because hard winds do blow and bad times do come. Connie will talk to her boys, and a thought will pop in her head: “I need to call Aubrey.” Paul still calls Aubrey’s voicemail just to hear her voice. They can’t grieve because there’s no closure. The unknown cripples them.

“One thing our therapist told us is the grieving never ends,” Paul said. “There’s no final stage.

“But guess what? We still have hope.”

Aubrey believed if you manifested all of your energy into something, it would happen, Paul said. At least she thought it worked.

“And we do, too,” Paul said.

I am just a bit sad today.

Bristol Palin and Abstinence

The headline reads, "Shocking Payday for Bristol Palin." It would appear that the Candie's Foundation- a group that promotes abstinence to teenagers, has paid her some $262,000 according to the group's 2009 tax return. Further, it is making headlines today because she had the audacity, the AUDACITY, to only give $35,000 of it to charity.

Ok, now wait for it......a teenage, single, girl gives birth to a child out of wedlock, and is paid by an ABSTINENCE non-proft for promoting their message??? Who gives a gobsmack that she only gave $35k to charity? She's stumping abstinence AFTER HAVING A BABY OUT OF WEDLOCK AS A TEENAGER.

Is anyone besides me having difficulty with this? I should be getting a portion of that pay. I am going to enjoy sushi with my friend ....[shakes her head in abject confusion and walks away....]

The Education Argument

As I read yet another news article about yet another town enduring insufferable budget cuts, with photos of educators protesting budget cuts in the "name of our children", I suddenly realize something of great note: I am no longer moved by them. I'm not moved by the "save our children's future" signs, nor the inflammatory arguments addressed through various teachers and community activists who want to "give our children what they need" or keep our kids from "missing out."

I am done. I have said for years that money does not educate my son. It helps perhaps, but it does not do the job. The economy, for whatever reason (and believe me, there are many), is tightening our glutenous belts, and to think for one single minute that the arena of education is exempt from the effects would be..... well, just damn boneheaded. The district here is going into talks with the teacher's union. Every year they "go into talks." This is code for negotiating contracts and, you guessed it, salaries. Teachers don't seem to get much pay different in salaries each year, but for some reason, these "talks" are intense and produce lots of scary front page news for all the parents.

Our American experience has developed its status quo with regard to our children on the belief that they are to be out of sight and out of our care for "education" between the hours of about 8 and 4, with extensions of time if they are lucky enough to find an extracurricular program that interests them and operates with a modicum of safety. Oddly, those hours of "education" between about 8-4 are not enough to educate them. No. They then need 2-3 hours (sometimes more) to do "homework" because the hours of 8-4 aren't enough. I know some teachers....the field workers charged with implementing this great "plan." Someone outta talk to those people for cryin' out loud.

And just where in that scheduled 8-4 day is there time to hug mom and dad, brush the dog, help with the laundry, go for a walk, have dinner, or fight with siblings?

Yet, we always need more and more money to perpetuate that system. Hum, me thinks not. I defy that old thought. The education of our children is not limited by dollars. It is limited by the box in which our thoughts flounder and feel trapped....the box we currently call educated thought.